Not Yet Mommy

The long journey towards parenthood…

Sometimes motivation kicks you right in the ovaries… December 31, 2010

Filed under: Personal Post,The Path to Half — Stephanie Marie @ 12:05 am

It will never fail to amaze me where motivation can come from. As you saw in my post yesterday, much of my inspiration comes from the love I have for several people, but some of my inspiration also comes from embarrassment. There have been times that I didn’t fit or I looked terrible in an outfit, or what have you, but today took the cake.

Now, you must remember that I work with children, and children do not think the same way as most adults. Children have a tough time with thinking of situations in a rational manner sometimes and their logic is just too funny to me. What happened between me and a 6-year-old boy today serves as both a great laugh and the kick in the ass I need to keep going.

I was holding baby P today out near the playground, just chatting with Mama Miller and some of the kids when the 6-year-old boy came up to the fence and asked me, in all seriousness that a 6-year-old can muster, “Miss Stephanie, are you going to have a baby soon?” Now, let me fill you in on what was going through my brain at this moment. I know children, and I know that he could have only meant three things by this question: 1) I am a woman and to 6-year-old children all women are “mommies”, therefore, I should be a mommy (this was reinforced as being the logical reason for asking me such a question as this is the same child that often asks me why my children are not at the center and what their names are. He always seems rather confused when I tell them that I don’t have children yet.), 2) I was holding a baby and he assumed that I should be having a baby if I were holding a baby, perhaps, or 3) He was saying, in a roundabout manner, that I am fat.

Guess which one it was.

Yup! I told him I was not about to have a baby and he replied, “Oh! It looks like you are,” with that same look of confusion that he gives me when I tell him that my children are not at the center because they don’t exist yet.

I know that he didn’t mean it maliciously, after all he is only a 6-year-old boy, and most 6-year-old boys are not evil, but it did make me feel like shit and it was definitely the reason I refrained from eating the entire box of cookies that had been sitting in the office most of the afternoon. 🙂


Half the person I am today… December 27, 2010

Filed under: The Path to Half — Stephanie Marie @ 12:09 am

I have decided to set a rather ambitious goal for myself, but one that needs to be set: By this time next year I want to be half of the person I am today. Yes, you read that right, I want to weight 50% of my current weight by December 25, 2011.

Keep in mind that I by no means dislike who I am (in fact, I am my own biggest fan) and I think I am darnright beautiful, but for health’s sake and in order to be a good role model for the children in my life whom I love so so dearly, I must do this. I have some really bad habits that I need to break, such as drinking my weight in caffeine daily and snacking incessantly, and there are some good routines I need to make much more routine, such as exercising more and meditating to destress.

I can’t post my beginning stats in this post, not because I’m somehow embarrassed by my weight or measurements, but because I’m currently recharging some batteries for my scale, plus I would like to weight in the mornings on Mondays (Measure Me Mondays, anyone?). If I had to guestimate my weight, it would be somewhere in the 275-290lb range, but I’ll be going from my highest weight ever measured (unless I’m somehow heavier now) of 298lbs. A year and a half ago. On my freaking wedding day. This would make my goal weight 149lbs by December 25, 2011.

How do I plan to get there? Lowering my carbohydrate intake (carbs and I do not get along at all and we never have, so they will not play a large role in my life. They will not disappear, as that is way not healthy, but I vow to not carbo load) and decreasing my stress, while increasing my sleep (something tells me 4-5 hours of sleep a night is not healthy) and greatly increasing my physical activity.

I will be doing the Couch to 5k program with my first 5k in many many years to be run in Tavares, FL on March 6, 2011, as well as shaking things up with some Wii Fit, weight training, and yoga. I will be pulling inspiration from several of my lovely sisters who are also doing C25K, a mother at the center who shared with me her amazing 100+lb weight loss, and the many children I have the opportunity to play with every day, but I often choose to watch while being rather stationary. That’s right, I plan to lose weight by playing kickball and running and playing tag. Tell me that doesn’t sound like fun!

I will do my absolute best to write posts about my progress along the way, but I am not being awesome at this whole blogging thing, so yell at me if it’s been a while.

Here’s to having a lot less of me to love!