Not Yet Mommy

The long journey towards parenthood…

Sometimes motivation kicks you right in the ovaries… December 31, 2010

Filed under: Personal Post,The Path to Half — Stephanie Marie @ 12:05 am

It will never fail to amaze me where motivation can come from. As you saw in my post yesterday, much of my inspiration comes from the love I have for several people, but some of my inspiration also comes from embarrassment. There have been times that I didn’t fit or I looked terrible in an outfit, or what have you, but today took the cake.

Now, you must remember that I work with children, and children do not think the same way as most adults. Children have a tough time with thinking of situations in a rational manner sometimes and their logic is just too funny to me. What happened between me and a 6-year-old boy today serves as both a great laugh and the kick in the ass I need to keep going.

I was holding baby P today out near the playground, just chatting with Mama Miller and some of the kids when the 6-year-old boy came up to the fence and asked me, in all seriousness that a 6-year-old can muster, “Miss Stephanie, are you going to have a baby soon?” Now, let me fill you in on what was going through my brain at this moment. I know children, and I know that he could have only meant three things by this question: 1) I am a woman and to 6-year-old children all women are “mommies”, therefore, I should be a mommy (this was reinforced as being the logical reason for asking me such a question as this is the same child that often asks me why my children are not at the center and what their names are. He always seems rather confused when I tell them that I don’t have children yet.), 2) I was holding a baby and he assumed that I should be having a baby if I were holding a baby, perhaps, or 3) He was saying, in a roundabout manner, that I am fat.

Guess which one it was.

Yup! I told him I was not about to have a baby and he replied, “Oh! It looks like you are,” with that same look of confusion that he gives me when I tell him that my children are not at the center because they don’t exist yet.

I know that he didn’t mean it maliciously, after all he is only a 6-year-old boy, and most 6-year-old boys are not evil, but it did make me feel like shit and it was definitely the reason I refrained from eating the entire box of cookies that had been sitting in the office most of the afternoon. 🙂


(I fail at) Wordless Wednesday- Inspiration December 30, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Stephanie Marie @ 12:30 am


Measure Me Monday- Week 1 December 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Stephanie Marie @ 11:23 pm

Today is my first Measure Me Monday post and, as you can see, I was off on my predition of being between 275 and 290, but not my much and very much so in the direction I was hoping to be in. 🙂 I am currently 274.8, which is down 23.2lbs from my highest weight ever of 298lbs. I have 125.8 left to go, which means I need to lose about 2.4 pounds a week to reach my goal weight by next Christmas. I can do this!

Also, today was my first day of Couch to 5K and I must say that I am wicked proud of myself! I resorted to running inside today as it was only about 42* when I went to work out, but I didn’t stop, even when I really really wanted to, and my heart rate wasn’t embarrassing. I’m not super sore (just good workout sore muscles) and I was very pleasently surprised when my hips and back pain disappeared almost immediately! They’re both back, but with much less severity. All told C25K took me 51 minutes, when you include my 7 minute warm-up and my 10 minute cool-down, and I burned something like 950 calories, both according to the machine in the gym and I, my friends, am proud of myself!

Tomorrow starts some general conditioning training for my arms and core, as well as, hopefully, a nice long walk with Mama Miller during the day. 🙂


Half the person I am today…

Filed under: The Path to Half — Stephanie Marie @ 12:09 am

I have decided to set a rather ambitious goal for myself, but one that needs to be set: By this time next year I want to be half of the person I am today. Yes, you read that right, I want to weight 50% of my current weight by December 25, 2011.

Keep in mind that I by no means dislike who I am (in fact, I am my own biggest fan) and I think I am darnright beautiful, but for health’s sake and in order to be a good role model for the children in my life whom I love so so dearly, I must do this. I have some really bad habits that I need to break, such as drinking my weight in caffeine daily and snacking incessantly, and there are some good routines I need to make much more routine, such as exercising more and meditating to destress.

I can’t post my beginning stats in this post, not because I’m somehow embarrassed by my weight or measurements, but because I’m currently recharging some batteries for my scale, plus I would like to weight in the mornings on Mondays (Measure Me Mondays, anyone?). If I had to guestimate my weight, it would be somewhere in the 275-290lb range, but I’ll be going from my highest weight ever measured (unless I’m somehow heavier now) of 298lbs. A year and a half ago. On my freaking wedding day. This would make my goal weight 149lbs by December 25, 2011.

How do I plan to get there? Lowering my carbohydrate intake (carbs and I do not get along at all and we never have, so they will not play a large role in my life. They will not disappear, as that is way not healthy, but I vow to not carbo load) and decreasing my stress, while increasing my sleep (something tells me 4-5 hours of sleep a night is not healthy) and greatly increasing my physical activity.

I will be doing the Couch to 5k program with my first 5k in many many years to be run in Tavares, FL on March 6, 2011, as well as shaking things up with some Wii Fit, weight training, and yoga. I will be pulling inspiration from several of my lovely sisters who are also doing C25K, a mother at the center who shared with me her amazing 100+lb weight loss, and the many children I have the opportunity to play with every day, but I often choose to watch while being rather stationary. That’s right, I plan to lose weight by playing kickball and running and playing tag. Tell me that doesn’t sound like fun!

I will do my absolute best to write posts about my progress along the way, but I am not being awesome at this whole blogging thing, so yell at me if it’s been a while.

Here’s to having a lot less of me to love!


Yeah, I know that I suck… December 26, 2010

Filed under: Personal Post — Stephanie Marie @ 11:44 pm

It’s been over two months since I’ve written a blog post and I know that I kind of suck at this whole blogging thing, but I’m hoping that I’ll get better at it. So, what has been new in my life? Take a seat and hold on, I’ll tell you all about it.

– I spent the latter half of October and most of the month of November in and out of hospitals as my father-in-law went from having chest pains to having a triple bypass (with an aortic valve replacement thrown in for good measure) to having a wicked bedsore that literally became a major pain in the ass when it required surgery. Since then it’s been the roller coaster that is recovery. On the bright side, he’s doing very well and we just celebrated our first holiday in the last three months that was not celebrated in a hospital room. For this we are thankful. 🙂

-You know those pictures I said I would post of the baby shower luncheon that I never posted? Well, both of the preggos from the center have had their babies, so it’s kind of pointless to post any pictures (plus, I got rid of a bunch of old email addresses so most of my photobucket accounts no longer work and I have to find new image hosting… hence all the broken links on this here blog).

-Still no pregnancy news. Seriously, nada. Nothing.

-I have very recently decided to set some goals for 2011. These are not resolutions, but rather long term goals that just happen to come into fruition after the new year. I am by no means waiting until January 1st to start them (I’ll make a seperate post).

-I have decided to “come clean” and officially open up about this blog and our journey of TTCing to the lovely world of Facebook. This is one of the scariest things ever, especially since I’ve lied to several people about being ready for children and I’ve downright denied that Hubband and I have been trying (I’m so sorry if you’re one of the people I’ve lied to!), but it was just one of those things I wasn’t ready to talk about in person, and, to be honest, I’m still not 100% ready to talk about. So, I have some “rules”: Feel free to read this blog, as it is public and all, and feel free to comment on here, but do not mention anything from the blog on Facebook or in person. I will pretend I don’t know what you’re talking about and either delete your comment or walk away. This is my place to “get it all out” and be honest with myself, I’m just inviting you in. I don’t want to talk about anything, I don’t want your advice via wall-post, and I can promise you that I do not need a “heart-to-heart” or a hug from you at the center or if I run into you at the bowling alley. Got it? Good. Enjoy.

‘Tis all my lovely peoples! I promise to do much better about updating from here on out.